embracing insomnia

This evening, I googled. My sleep schedule is to the point that I just do not know what to do. I am tired all of the time. Generally, I go to bed by 11 or 12 and lie in my bed wide awake until 2...3...4... or on the really bad nights even 5 in the morning. I celebrate the times when I have fallen asleep by 2. It's a pattern now that I hate, but don't know how to get rid of. I've stayed up all night hoping it would make me so tired I could sleep the next night, but that didn't work. I do all the things you are supposed to do to encourage sleep...

Well, anyhow. This evening, I googled. And I came to the decision that this night, instead of wasting hours just laying there being so completely awake, I would just do something productive instead. So here I am at two in the morning on the couch. I've been working on church things (I have an event coming on Friday and Saturday), and feeling the creative bug biting. Maybe in these hours I'll find new inspiration. Maybe my prayers will feel more deep. (Tonight we're praying for Uncle Eli traveling!) Maybe I'll become so exhausted that I turn into a giant crab tomorrow. Whatever these hours have in store, I'm ready for it. It's better than tossing and turning on my aching body in that bed that feels like an enemy with whom I desperately need to get along.