heart for the city

I saw an article the other day about pro-rape rallies that would be taking place in 165 cities across 43 countries all around the world, and my heart broke. The man who organized these meetings later "cancelled" them because he was worried about the safety of the men who were going to meet because the backlash was so strong. But he did leave it up to the men if they still wanted to go.
The meeting was supposed to take place tonight. In my city, it was supposed to happen within a block from me. That part doesn't scare me outright, but it does make it very real.
My soul just aches for the people who have been victims of sexual crimes, for those who don't understand why it is wrong, and for our broken world.
I am on my knees before God asking for Him to build His Kingdom in my city and community. Equip people to go out and be your hands and feet, God. Bolster our courage and send us into the darkness that we might bring YOUR LIGHT to those dark places. We are yours. This city is yours. Lord, I see wrecked. But I know you see redeemable.

embracing insomnia

This evening, I googled. My sleep schedule is to the point that I just do not know what to do. I am tired all of the time. Generally, I go to bed by 11 or 12 and lie in my bed wide awake until 2...3...4... or on the really bad nights even 5 in the morning. I celebrate the times when I have fallen asleep by 2. It's a pattern now that I hate, but don't know how to get rid of. I've stayed up all night hoping it would make me so tired I could sleep the next night, but that didn't work. I do all the things you are supposed to do to encourage sleep...

Well, anyhow. This evening, I googled. And I came to the decision that this night, instead of wasting hours just laying there being so completely awake, I would just do something productive instead. So here I am at two in the morning on the couch. I've been working on church things (I have an event coming on Friday and Saturday), and feeling the creative bug biting. Maybe in these hours I'll find new inspiration. Maybe my prayers will feel more deep. (Tonight we're praying for Uncle Eli traveling!) Maybe I'll become so exhausted that I turn into a giant crab tomorrow. Whatever these hours have in store, I'm ready for it. It's better than tossing and turning on my aching body in that bed that feels like an enemy with whom I desperately need to get along.