old joy

I've been staring at a blank screen for ten minutes. Not sure what exactly I want to write, but I do want to write. It was a long week last week. The internet at Dad and Mom's house frustrates me which made me want to do almost nothing on the internet besides what I needed to for my job. Besides that I was pretty much exhausted by 9:30 every night and ready for bed soon after. HISability is extremely rewarding and definitely my favourite week of the year, but it is so tiring in a normal case... and quadruply so in the year when I am diagnosed with chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia. While I was at camp, the doctor called me to check in on my wheat elimination diet and general health and to tell me that I have an initial positive for Lyme disease. There is more testing that has to be done, and this doesn't mean I definitely have it, but it is a maybe. I don't know if that is a better or worse thing in my mind now. But whatever it is, it is a possibility as much as it was before. So it is okay.

Thought I would upload some pictures from when I was home and Courtney and I went on a rainy Sunday afternoon adventure...

Today saw me ordering the new curriculum for next quarter for KidCentral. We are going to try The Gospel Project and see if that works out to having more substance than the Group one we were using. I also was working on choosing an Advent theme and looking into a VBS for 2016. Trying to get ahead in planning. I'll probably work through tomorrow, too, since I took a break early on in the week. This evening, Kelsey and I met our friend Marisol at a laundromat to wash all her family's clothes, bedding, towels, etc. so that their house will be absolutely clean for her sister who will hopefully be coming home from the hospital soon. They are having the house professionally cleaned; we did at least 16 loads of laundry in about four hours. Wasn't too bad, and I was glad that we could help them out in some way.

2.25

The kind of headache that both keeps you awake way too late and doesn't allow for any sort of restful relief... Yes, this is my life for the moment.

I shall not want

This morning I woke up much happier than how I felt when I went to bed. I've decided wheat elimination is hard on the soul. Emotions run high when you don't get your usual gluten.

I tried a gluten free bar for breakfast which was good, but the star of the morning was my coffee. I think I will always love coffee more than nearly every other food type. Except potatoes. Because... obvi.

Kelsey and I received the strangest envelopes in the mail today.

Fairly certain they are from Drew, and this furthers our Pug Pranks. Not sure yet as to how we will retaliate.

We spent our afternoon out on the town. Kels wanted to price compare FitBits and get some shorts, and I kind of tagged along. I ended up finding another white vase (I'm collecting), and it was 90 cents so that's pretty good!

Kels made us steak for supper, and we watched Aladdin. I don't know if I said that we watched Mulan yesterday, but I have been in the mood to watch Disney movies over... the ones that I don't really remember anyway. Mulan was better than I remember, but I didn't like Aladdin as much as I remembered.

Now we're packing for our trips, and I'm procrastinating about it because that's what I do when I have to do a big pack. So instead, I'm listening to The Cure and Bryan Adams and other classics because I can.

Hoping for a wonderful week at camp. Praying that it is all prepared and I don't have massive amounts of prep waiting for me tomorrow. I don't know why, but I am feeling so nervous about the future; money, circumstance, etc. I KNOW who holds my future. But I'm praying for more solid faith in the face of anxiety that I cannot seem to settle. Listening to this song on repeat as I do so:

Summer girl

Today called for a bit of a break. This morning I did some admin type stuff for KidCentral, and planned out my lesson. When Kels got up we did brunch (egg white vegetable omelet and hash browns for me), stopped by the thrift store where I found a wooden cupcake stand, and then we did a soda can return. Watched Mulan this afternoon, and now Kels is gone to soccer. When she's back, we'll have supper of sorts. I still have to figure out what version of a taco I can eat.

I'm not sure why I feel what I feel, but sometimes it feels like the walls are closing a bit around me. I have a few things looming over my head. Which aren't even big things, but they feel big. How is it that small things get to be so insurmountable? Is this why the Scriptures list such basic things when telling us not to worry? .... Are we wired so that even the most secure thing has the potential to make us worry? Maybe other people don't feel this way, and it's not such a normal part of being responsible, but for me, there's always a running list of things in my head that need to be taken care of. I can't shut that off... I can suppress it for awhile, but it's always lingering in the back of my mind. And when I do try to suppress it, it makes all the points of the list seem like much bigger deals. Not sure that makes sense. But it's nice to put it out. I hold in my feelings a lot. Maybe too much. So it's probably good that I just get them out somehow.

Rhythm of my life

I'm pretty well wiped. I was wiped at 9:45 this morning when I got out of the shower. But alas. I had my next set of blood labs run today, so yippee to one less 12 hour fast. I'm starting to feel the effects of the gluten free business. I'm hungry randomly and craving meat. I kind of remember this from last time.

This evening Kels and I hung out in our yard for supper, played bean bag toss, and sang some. Nice night in. Andrea was over for a bit. Now I am so ready to sleep.

Back

Okay, so long time no blog. I can't even try to summarize all the things that have happened since I last updated. Well, I could, but I think it would end up quite boring, and I would certainly be bored writing it.

Physically I am feeling better, generally. My new doctor has put fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue on my record as working diagnoses. I am massively Vitamin D deficient and so am taking 3000 IU a day plus another 50,000 IU weekly. I wasn't sure how VBS would effect me, but it's been a bit of a headache and a couple days laying low. I'm really hoping that tomorrow is back to usual speed. Last week, we played a little bit of volleyball just hitting it around, and I messed up my thumb somehow. That seems to be mostly healed apart from a bruise and hurting a little, but now not much more than is "normal" for my hands to hurt.

VBS went really well. A few kinks here and there, but those were even just tiny things... mostly slight miscommunication. The big things to come out of VBS that I will be working on are creating a better relationship with the International churches and figuring out our social media policy. I have a lot of fresh ideas for the coming year, as well, and I hope to have a basic 2016 calendar put together by the end of the week. Much excite.

This evening, if I am feeling well enough, I'm going to spend some time redecorating in the children's area. I have a lot of carnival type decor that is ready to go up, but I haven't felt up to it before now. If I run out of energy, I'll be working on writing an entry for a 30 day devotional for chronically ill people that my friend Beret is working to put together.

Either way, it's now time for another cup of coffee, some more good music, and I'm going to do a "brain dump." Put all of my big ideas on a paper so that I can remember them when I get the time to really invest in making them reality. Here's to hoping that I can pick up the blogging again!