O great mystery

Here are two settings of a Gregorian chant which I love. Apparently I'm on a bit of a Latin kick right now. But it is beautiful and the words absolutely swell through me and make my heart soar.

O Magnum Mysterium - Tomás Luis de Victoria - New York Polyphony

O Magnum Mysterium - Morten Lauridsen - Kings College

O magnum mysterium, et admirabile saramentum, ut animalia viderent Dominum natum, jacentem in præsepio! Beata Virgo, cujus viscera meruerunt portare Dominum Christum. Alleluia.

O great mystery, and wonderful sacrament, that animals should see the new-born Lord, lying in a manger. Blessed is the Virgin whose womb was worthy to bear Christ the Lord. Alleluia!

The Four Calls of Advent: Preparing for Christ

Today is the beginning of the new liturgical calendar. We begin again to tell the story of Jesus beginning with the anticipation of the Messiah's birth: Advent. We are reminded of the past -- Israel waiting for Christ -- and we look forward toward Christ's future coming.

These are the four calls of Advent:

A Call to Hope
   We remember God's promises of a Savior. God always keeps his promises; he is faithful. We remember the hope of a Messiah for the Israelites. We rekindle and reignite our expectancy of Christ's second coming. There is hope in Christ. He is like a light in the darkness that shows us where to go. Christ Jesus, you are our hope.

A Call to Peace
    Christ's birth and death made it possible for there to be peace between God and man. Christ has restored our relationship and made a way for us to spend eternity with him. We are ambassadors of God's peaceful kingdom on earth now. We daily establish peace in our hearts which flows into our lives. Christ Jesus, you are our peace.

A Call to Joy
     Great joy was sent to us! The people walking in darkness have seen a great light! Where there was darkness -- there is now light! Where there was death -- there is now life! The angels announced the message of joy available for all people -- salvation through Christ. We renew our joy this season of Advent. Christ Jesus, you are our joy.

A Call to Love
    We remember Love incarnate. The ultimate example of Love was born as a baby. His life was filled with love. He loved us so much that he died a horrible death for us! Jesus, established a way for us to live with God forever. We now spread his love to the world. Our prime objective is love! Love of God and love of others. We act in the way that only people who have known love can love. And how fortunate we are to have a record of Christ's actions on earth! Jesus told us that his followers will be known by their love. Christ Jesus, is our love.

Practice living in hope, peace, joy, and love this Advent season!

Gaudete performed by the King Singers

Gaudete, gaudete! Christus est natus ex Maria virgine, gaudete! Tempus adest gratiæ hoc quod optabamus, Carmina lætitiæ devote reddamus. Deus homo factus est natura mirante, Mundus renovatus est a Christo regnante. Ezechielis porta clausa pertransitur, Unde lux est orta salus invenitur. Ergo nostra concio psallat iam in lustro; Benedicat Domino: Salus Regi nostro.

Rejoice, rejoice! Christ has born of the Virgin Mary -- rejoice! The time of grace has come -- what we have wished for, songs of joy. Let us give back faithfully. God has become man, with nature marvelling. The world has been renewed by Christ who is reigning. The closed gate of Ezekiel is passed through, whence the light is raised, salvation is found. Therefore, let our preaching now sing in brightness. Let it give praise to the Lord: Greeting to our King.

colorado vlog

grow

Today I do not feel particularly lovely. I feel less than holy. I am filled with grit.

So here I am, releasing the tension that is building up in my heart. Asking God to turn grit into grace and growth. Opening clenched fists to become upturned palms.

Christ, I invite you use the Holy Spirit to do the necessary, hard things in me this day. And may I return to you the love that you have shown to me.

How To: Advent Labyrinth

Why a labyrinth?
First out, we chose to call our event an Advent Labyrinth knowing that it is traditionally called an Advent Garden or Winter Spiral. The idea came from seeing photos of a Winter Spiral festival from a Waldorf school on Instagram. If you are familiar with Waldorf ways, they may seem sort of hippie or too new age, but I dug deep and found that the spiral was originally used by Christians and the parts of it have a lot of important meanings. Thanks Google! (http://www.waldorflibrary.org/articles/1172-the-advent-garden)

I took all of my research to the discipleship pastor at our church because I wanted to make sure that everything we were going to do was in line with our church's beliefs. Some may not be comfortable with how similar it is to the Winter Spiral -- traditions that now honor nature and not specifically the Creator of nature. (https://www.clws.org/events/winter-spiral-and-the-meaning-of-advent/) The church was comfortable with the way our children's leadership presented the labyrinth so we moved ahead.

The labyrinth provides a unique opportunity to explain the Gospel to kids. (More on the specifics of that later.) Each physical piece of it has meaning and is purposefully placed in the spiral. We found the time to be extremely beautiful in its simplicity; it was contemplative, quiet, and felt important. Each child (and adult) has their own special moment when they walk the labyrinth -- at their own speed, in their own way. There are so many things you can draw from the event, but there was opportunity for everyone to experience the labyrinth how they would choose.

Event Prep
We held our labyrinth in the fellowship room of our church. It is not carpet (whoo fire!), and we had two 5 gallon buckets of water on standby. We also had a fire extinguisher. I laid out our labyrinth in a traditional spiral form. It was wide enough across so that a wheelchair or walker could easily navigate the turns. We used a combination of cheaper dollar store garland and faux evergreen garland the church already owned. This year, we will be purchasing extra boughs from a Christmas tree farm to add more realistic texture and smell. (Last year we burnt an evergreen candle to try to add the scent haha!) We added some faux sprigs of berries, pinecones, etc. We set up two rows of chairs around the spiral in a circle. On both sides of the path, we put gold and silver star cut outs. This is so the participants know where to put their candle when they leave the labyrinth. At the center of the spiral was a single larger candle, elevated so participants' candles could easily be lit from it. At the mouth of the spiral was a bowl of small candles waiting to be taken through the spiral.

We made the candles by using our candle-lighting candles and securing them in apples. This was actually fairly easy. Using an older style carrot peeler, we created a candle sized hole in the top and wedged the candle in. Using apples creates something for easy little hands to hold when carrying a lit candle, the candles do not topple easily when set on the floor, and they can symbolize the fruit we bear as we grow in faith. We had extra candles made up just in case we ran out or something and kept them back so as to keep the spiral looking as simple as possible.

The rest of the room was already decorated for Christmas. We kept the lights low -- we lit a couple of Christmas trees and maybe a few other white fairy lights, but it was dim. The goal is light enough to see where you are going, but dark enough so you get the story.

Just a taste of the symbolism...
Evergreen boughs - The Garden / The World
Apples - The Fruit of the Spirit
Light - Salvation / Christ's love
Center Candle - God / Christ
Spiral design - Our journey through life
Carrying a candle through the dark labyrinth - navigating the world without Christ
Carrying a lit candle through the dark labyrinth - carrying Christ in our heart through life
Stars - Encounters with others in our lives

The Labyrinth
We began the event with a reception in the church's narthex -- cookies, wassail, spiced cider, hot cocoa, etc. Everyone had about 10-15 minutes to socialize, and then I was able to gather everyone's attention and lead them into the labyrinth space quietly. The labyrinth was dark as we entered except for the center candle. Everyone got a seat, and I explained the story of the labyrinth. In the beginning, God created a beautiful garden and created man. Man sinned and our holy God could not stand the sin, and man was cut off from the Creator. Then I blew out the candle and plunged the room into darkness. The world became a dark place because of sin. But God cared so much for us that he sent us Jesus. And Jesus restored our relationship with God and light came back into the world. I re-lit the candle. Then I explained that we can know Christ and have his light in our hearts. I showed them my candle. When Christ is Lord of our lives, we carry his light with us into that broken, dark world. And we can share it with those we meet. We leave can leave the light along our path. I put down the candle on the path.

I took a couple of minutes to explain the procedure for walking the labyrinth -- one at a time, pick up a candle on the way in, walk however you want, take as much time as you need, light the candle at the center, pick a star to leave your candle on, return to your seat. I suggested for adults to accompany the littlest participants and emphasized for everyone to be respectful of each other -- quiet and serious -- letting each person experience the spiral their own way. I told them once the labyrinth was completely lit, I would come back to end our time together. I had pre-arranged for one of the children to be the first person through the labyrinth and had gone over with them exactly what to do. They had arrived early and walked it out with me so they wouldn't be nervous. I told everyone that she would be first and to watch her if you still weren't sure what to do.

We arranged for a violinist and pianist to play some lesser known Christmas carols quietly in the background. (Here's a playlist of some songs we included) It took maybe 45 minutes for about 30 people to walk the labyrinth. A few people went multiple times. Once everyone had their turn, I walked the labyrinth one last time. At the very center, I said a few more words about the light of Christ and we prayed together. Everyone was asked to leave the space in silence. If they wanted to stay and meditate or pray, they were welcome to. The instrumentalists played for another 20 minutes. Many people did not want to leave. The glow of the candles was mesmerizing. Eventually, the candles had burned down so much that I thought it was getting a bit dangerous so I called it, turned the lights back on, and everyone reluctantly left. Christmas began for us that night.

Other Thoughts
This year, we are planning on doing 3 waves of the labyrinth scheduled for 5:30, 6:30, and 7:30. It was so popularly requested, and our children's department has increased by 50 children, we absolutely need extra time. I would say that I think 30 people is about the largest group that should go through at a time. Our spiral was pretty large, but it is nice to keep the space cozy and intimate. There was such a quiet joy that reigned over the labyrinth, and I can see it not having quite the same feeling if it were really huge, and if you had to wait a really long time to have your turn. 40 minutes is a long time for littles to wait as is!

I hope that explains the labyrinth. If you have any more specific questions feel free to find me on facebook or email me at britany@centralfreemethodist.org

And now, the part you have all been waiting for, photos!

 

Building Peaceful Bridges

How do we build bridges in the midst of tragedy and division?

How do we breathe peace into our lives?

A few weeks ago, I found myself watching a livestream posing the first question. The ladies who were speaking are people who I have considered faith role models for a couple years now. They spoke of how they experienced bridge building by having conversations across things that naturally tend to divide; this conversation being specifically about race. They posed the question, and I was genuinely interested in what their answer would be. I suppose it makes sense that it was based solely in their experience: have the tough conversations. And that answer was not enough for me.

I know this is a difficult topic to talk about, and it is certainly not one to which I am flippantly coming. I can't ignore that my life experience has been one of "white privilege," which informs the lens through which I view the world. Every person has certain biases which make conversations difficult to have because we all try to relate to each others' experiences. Which sometimes comes off as arrogant or pitying; something that we may or may not intend. We may intend empathy, but we sometimes end up condescending. One thing I have learned from my friend Kelsey who is a social worker is that whether or not our experiences overlap, your feelings are valid. Even if I don't "get it," they are not my feelings and experience, and it is so belittling and horrible of me to make you feel minimized. I must work to create a space where your feelings are cared about and that you know I consider them valid. Otherwise, I am providing a "there, there... suck it up" brand of empathy also known as sympathy. For a really great illustration of true empathy, check out this clip from The RSA: Brené Brown on Empathy

Especially on social media, I tend to use the avoid and ignore tactic when it comes to the many opinions on racism, sexism, privilege, etc. I have convictions, but Facebook or Twitter is not where I will be sharing them. And it's not where I go to seek out others' opinions. (Let's be honest... I'm looking for photos of your cute new puppy or grandchild or checking to make sure my dad hasn't posted any terrible groaners of jokes recently.) So anyhow, I realize that one is either incredibly brave when one makes his or her convictions known online or one simply doesn't realize the controversial maelstrom that will potentially be created.

In light of watching the livestream, not being satisfied with the answers provided, and all the tragedies that seem to be happening daily, I have been asking God for wisdom. Another question came to my mind over and over in these last few weeks: how do we breathe peace into our lives? Now I firmly believe that if your attention is called to something multiple times, it is important. When a thought lingers in your mind -- pray it. When an image sticks with you -- pray it. When a person comes to mind -- pray. This is the Holy Spirit at work in you! So I have been praying about daily peace, breathing peace into my life and into others, and for wisdom specifically surrounding the question of breathing peace into lives.

Yesterday, I journaled a bit on the subject while I was praying.

How do we breathe peace into our lives? Consider your sphere of influence. Practice peaceful living -- first within yourself. This means a surrender and sanctification. The holy life God has called you to and blessed you with is not one of fear, chaos, and worry. The 'how' of getting to that point is both simple and difficult: get to know God better. How do you do this? He has given the Truth in the form of the Bible and left the Holy Spirit to testify to you. Doubt flies away when you listen to the Spirit telling you that you are a child of the King. First within. Then.

Take all that confidence in Christ, restful spirit, and heart that is now honed to listening and go forth just looking to listen in your daily live and movements. Where would God have you? Now I'm not saying stop all life and stay away from human contact until you are 'ready.' I'm simply saying, work on your relationship with God, focus on Him and His holiness, and fashion your behavior after Christ. Holy words. Holy actions. Holy thoughts. Dwell on such things. (Phil. 4:8) It's not about ignoring realities or denying the existence of negatives. It is about seeking after holiness which identifies true needs, meets others as friends in Love, and puts aside selfishness.

Okay. I get that none of this is easy. It is not supposed to be. Living a life worthy of the calling we have received as Christians (Ephesians 4, Colossians 1:9-14) is not going to be a trivial thing. It is your ultimate goal. It is messy. It is complicated. It is painful. It is full. It is hopeful. It is holy.

I realize that this doesn't explicitly answer either of the questions I initially posed. And that was why I was so frustrated at the beginning of all of this. Because I wanted a tangible plan toward healing some of the ache and hurt that I feel for the brokenness of the world. In all truth, I don't have a more concrete answer than seeking the Lord and listening, acting, and reacting in Love. Taking time to process. Allowing God to help you see the world through His eyes and maybe a different lens than your own experience has thus far allowed. But after talking with God and reading His Word (and continuing to do so), I am more able today than yesterday to say, "It is well with my soul."

Holiday photos

Thought I would pop in real quick to share my fave photos from my family's recent vacation to Florida. I may at some point make a video with the rest of the photos and video from the trip, but my creativity is just not that amped tonight. So. Put on this song (Bungalow), and enjoy!

heart for the city

I saw an article the other day about pro-rape rallies that would be taking place in 165 cities across 43 countries all around the world, and my heart broke. The man who organized these meetings later "cancelled" them because he was worried about the safety of the men who were going to meet because the backlash was so strong. But he did leave it up to the men if they still wanted to go.
The meeting was supposed to take place tonight. In my city, it was supposed to happen within a block from me. That part doesn't scare me outright, but it does make it very real.
My soul just aches for the people who have been victims of sexual crimes, for those who don't understand why it is wrong, and for our broken world.
I am on my knees before God asking for Him to build His Kingdom in my city and community. Equip people to go out and be your hands and feet, God. Bolster our courage and send us into the darkness that we might bring YOUR LIGHT to those dark places. We are yours. This city is yours. Lord, I see wrecked. But I know you see redeemable.

embracing insomnia

This evening, I googled. My sleep schedule is to the point that I just do not know what to do. I am tired all of the time. Generally, I go to bed by 11 or 12 and lie in my bed wide awake until 2...3...4... or on the really bad nights even 5 in the morning. I celebrate the times when I have fallen asleep by 2. It's a pattern now that I hate, but don't know how to get rid of. I've stayed up all night hoping it would make me so tired I could sleep the next night, but that didn't work. I do all the things you are supposed to do to encourage sleep...

Well, anyhow. This evening, I googled. And I came to the decision that this night, instead of wasting hours just laying there being so completely awake, I would just do something productive instead. So here I am at two in the morning on the couch. I've been working on church things (I have an event coming on Friday and Saturday), and feeling the creative bug biting. Maybe in these hours I'll find new inspiration. Maybe my prayers will feel more deep. (Tonight we're praying for Uncle Eli traveling!) Maybe I'll become so exhausted that I turn into a giant crab tomorrow. Whatever these hours have in store, I'm ready for it. It's better than tossing and turning on my aching body in that bed that feels like an enemy with whom I desperately need to get along.

Courtney

I just have to share this photo of Courtney. Because she's insanely gorgeous, and I seriously love it. It might be one of my favourite pictures I've ever taken. Just.... wowwwww. Heart eyes emoji.

writer's block

I am so writer's blocked right now. I'm trying to finish up tying together all the bits and pieces of a 1-day curriculum that is secret agent themed for church. It is slow going. I have all the ideas, and if I were doing it myself, I wouldn't even have to bother wiring it all together. But I'm making if for college students who are coming in to run it, so I'm trying to make my ideas be extremely clear. Tomorrow I will hopefully get some feedback from them, so we will see just how clear I have been.

Doesn't make me eager to try to finish the VBS curriculum I started...

In the meantime, here's cute pictures of Kelsey's new puppy, Sadie.

on a bad day

Today was a fibro flare type day. Or a migraine day. Or something. It was just a lot of pain day.
I used today, stuck in my bed in a darkened room, to reflect on my chronic illness. I tried to ask myself how I feel about having chronic pain? So much of my time is spent coping, planning, adjusting, and trying to learn how to manage... I'm not sure how much effort I've put into understanding my feelings about pain.

I know I feel guilty most of the time. I know this is a false guilt -- what's happened to me is not my fault, and I can't help it. But every time someone helps me, excuses me, tells me how sorry they are for me... I feel guilty that they are negatively affected by me. What you know and how you feel aren't exactly the same always. I don't want to feel guilty, but I know that I often do.

Here are a couple blog posts I read today while trying to process:
Dreaming Big
10 Conversations to Have About Chronic Pain

When songs give place to sighing

Blogtrack: His Eye is On the Sparrow - Mahalia Jackson

[July 2013]

The past few days have been surreal. I've thought about trying to write, and I just can't get anything out. Emily Cleveland is in the ICU with a severe brain bleed. At this point, she has had surgery and 85% of the clot has been removed which is miraculous and uncharted territory for even the expert surgeons who were working on her. She is unresponsive. It's just surreal.

Three days ago, she was sitting in our living room doing Christmas with us. We were laughing and smiling and hugging and making plans for spring visits. And now everything has changed. In so many ways, this feels like I'm in my senior year of high school again, and my whole mindset has shifted because of this. But I keep reminding myself that Emily is not Josh. This situation is not that one. Things are different.

So many people are praying for E. I am confident in the power of prayer. I have seen God work. Somehow, I am not worried. Worried is not the word for how I feel. I feel a quiet sadness, I guess. Because I know things will now be different for E and her family and for me, too. But I also keep thinking... if this is what God's will is... if this is what it takes for E or any of us to give Him more glory and grow in relationship with Him... then how could we not take on this challenge? How could we refuse to be tested by holy fire? This is where we dig in deep and see how far joy's roots reach into our souls. I'm not worried.

"Whenever I am tempted, whenever clouds arise,

When songs give place to sighing, when hope within me dies;

I draw closer to Him, from care He sets me free.

His eye is on the sparrow, and I know he watches me;

His eye is on the sparrow, and I know he watches me."