Sunday dawns pretty early for me. Somehow I usually wake up hours before I need to be at the church, and I go over everything in my head for the millionth time. One time, I'm fairly sure I rewrote most of a children's sermon while I was half asleep. Sidebar: I plan and adjust my plans and improvise, and it all comes together. But this is done with a tremendous amount of me reciting details in my head so that I do not forget anything. This was a part of my personality before taking daily medication, but now that I have such memory loss and sometimes what feels like cognitive impairment (more commonly known in the chronic illness community as 'brain fog'), it has become more imperative for me to manage details impeccably. I shuffle through all those things I am supposed to be processing which "normal" people process all at once, and I triple check to make sure that I am correctly storing the important data and discarding the bits that don't make as much difference. Most people's brains do this for them automatically and seamlessly... mine is a more awkward situation. Thankfully, I took classes about processing and memory formation and retrieval, and I am proactive about trying to store important memories. It doesn't make you feel much better about the situation; feeling dull, like you can't keep up with conversation, can't contribute, etc. But at least I can keep track of some of the finer points. Sidebar over.
The morning went well at church. Three kiddos learning about Solomon asking God to give him wisdom. Our "detective agency" kept the attention of the kids, and I loved seeing their excited faces as they turned in their "clue sheets." They are getting it. I'm hoping their parents take notice of the questions on the sheet and address what the kids answered. But I can only provide opportunities. Even VBS recruiting didn't feel as hopeless as the week before. Nearly half the spots are filled now, and I'm much more confident that we will pull it off. My Sunday afternoon was spent pouring over my director's guide, making sure that I have a firm hold on all of the details. I really do not want to screw this up; it feels very high stakes. In the evening, Kelsey returned with her friends plus her friend Olivia. She was going to have a campfire in our backyard and had invited some people from her Bible study group plus a couple others. I am glad that I felt well enough to participate. There were maybe ten people in our backyard (who weren't us, I mean), and it just felt nice to have a community piece of life. I've met a couple of them a few times, so I feel like I know them well enough to joke around and be more myself than say on the first impression bit. And since Olivia was there, it was even more comfortable. We had hotdogs over the fire, did a bit of a guitar/mandolin/uke jam sesh, laughed, and just enjoyed the company of other young people. A bit of exciting news that comes out of this is that one of the girls, Andrea, is going to start coming over weekly and teaching Kelsey and I how to play the violin. Or trying to, at least. I'm not sure how we will be bartering back for this... I suggested that I could bake for her. Or teach her to play the piano. But I am excited to develop one more friendship here.
The photo above is representative of when most of the people had gone home, and we could hear the music festival going at full tilt a couple of blocks down. Empire of the Sun was playing, and when they started Walking On A Dream, Kelsey and I lost it. We ran out of our backyard, across the street, and danced in the parking lot to the song that we have deemed "ours." Twirling with our arms high, making the craziest moves we could think of, and out of breath with excitement, I just had to think about how much I love having a friend who will run straight to nowhere to dance for no reason. It was just one of those little moments that could have been passed over, but it was so special and fun.
Today was more normal than the past week. Our staff meeting got moved to Tuesday, but there were a mess of sleepovering friends in my living room, so I did my work in my bedroom for the morning. I am nearly ready to order all of the rest of the supplies I have to get from the publisher for VBS. Tomorrow I will check with Pastor Steve for the go ahead, and things will really get rolling after this! The biggest events of the day centered around me trying to invent a new dish for supper and subsequently burning my fingers while cooking said dish. It turned out well, though. Rotini pasta with red sauce, hamburger, oregano, a splash of milk, EVOO, garlic salt, and mozzarella cheese all combined and melted together on the stovetop. It was nice because it wasn't as deep of a dish as usual pasta dishes... it had a more light and refreshing tinge to it. We'll see how the leftovers do. The last big events of the day were people-centric. I talked to Mom briefly, and later Courtney, briefly. Aunt Jane, though, I talked to for nearly an hour. We had a lot to catch up on, and it just brightened up my evening to be able to talk with her. Once Kelsey got home, we kind of debriefed all the things that had happened while we were away from each other. Relaxing to be caught up on everything. And now we are trying to go to sleep, but it is thunderstorming, so I'm guessing that isn't in the cards for Kelsey. I love falling asleep to the sounds of the rain, but it keeps her anxiety high. Hopefully, it will settle soon and let her rest. And then tomorrow we will wake up refreshed and ready for a strange staff meeting missing Bruce and Ken. Until tomorrow...
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