1. Now that I am living away from my family again, they seem at least mildly interested in hearing what is going on for me day to day. So first off, this is for my family.
2. It is getting increasingly more difficult for me to use my hands to write in my journal at night, so I'm hoping that typing will be a bit easier.
Thus said, as this is probably going to be taking place of my journal for the time being at least, I'm most likely going to be quite frank about how I feel about things. I'm positive, but journals are where you spill and heal and feel, and I still need that. I'm very alright with you all reading that and knowing I felt that way, but just bear in mind that this is my "junk drawer." It will hopefully be funny and informative, but I do have feelings. I'm not an iceberg. That is why this is a private blog, and hey look, you made the cut of being invited to view it. That means you are in with me. Lucky you. You know me, I'm honest probably to the point of being harsh, and that will happen here. I'm just warning you very up front.
But. I can also promise that you will see record of the daily blessings I experience. God's hand is so clear in my life, and I will be just as honest about that. Some stuff in my life can be kind of crappy, but I will always do my best to recognize when crazy grace is on the scene... which... let's be honest, it's all the time.
Disclaimer over. //
This day did not start how I would have hoped. My sleep was what I would call 'fitful at best.' I was waking up every half hour or so and never settling in between. This isn't uncommon for me, but I was crossing my fingers for better rest. I had a 2 part To Do list today that went like this:
The day ended up more like... morning: try to regain any bit of sleep possible from all the sleep lost, afternoon: go stir crazy since you can't get out of bed for the second day in a row. Bug roommate with as many nonsensical texts as possible since your fingers don't work from pain and your processing is slow from brain fog. #chronicillnessproblems
Basically, I ended up testing the waters of standing and over the entire day made it to standing without feeling like my feet were breaking. Eventually most of the pain had subsided, and I was just really tired when I would move around. But I was okay with this because after two days in bed, you were not going to stop me moving if there wasn't pain.
I slathered makeup onto a very sickly, white face and tried to make my limp hair look a little more alive. Put on real clothes instead of loungewear. You know, classed it up. Got some coffee for a bit of kick, and I was set.
Emily Kozma was in town this afternoon so her parents dropped her off a little before supper. Kelsey and I toured her around the house and then took her on an errand to the store (in need of TP) before we stopped and got sushi to go from a little place called Sushimoto. CJ, we will have to get it next time you are here. Very affordable and good!! Because I know you will actually be interested, we got a Vegas roll, California roll, Shrimp tempura roll, and Philly roll. Em hung out with us until about 8:30 when Koz came and picked her up. Though, really, he hung around for a good half hour, as well. Then they were off to Wisconsin to see a couple they know from Colorado get married tomorrow.
Kels and I then filmed an episode of [To Be Named] for Scooter. Maybe our least funny episode yet, but Scooter seems to appreciate our effort. And she told me this week that she is really missing us right now, so hopefully this will be a help.
Now I'm off to bed. But I'm not sleepy at all because my sleep schedule is so messed up at this point. I have no idea what to do to get it back on track. I don't sleep well which I know is a characteristic of chronic pain, but what do you do to make yourself fall asleep? I'm not exactly frustrated right now.. I was the other day. Sometimes I'm very done with it. Yesterday I was like.. why can't you just walk through it? What's going to happen to you? Are you going to fall? Will it hurt you so much that you just collapse? It's just pain... Where is the point between 'I shouldn't do this' and 'I physically can't do this?' Anyways. Here's what I looked like today once I had my makeup on so I didn't look like warmed up death. Toodlepip!
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